Paralyzed Heart

{ memories theme Ask }

a b o u t
" I’m getting bad again but I’m too tired to care. "
- (via itcuddles)

 

So, my guess is you are probably reading this right now. 

You’re mad at me right now because of the snapchat I had posted with him. Like I had told you before, I’m truly sorry. 

But, I need you to remember, I was friends with him before you guys started dating. I’m not excusing his idiotic behavior towards you, he is indecisive, confusing etc etc. But, the person he was while dating you is different from the friend I know. I understand you are hurt right now, anything can tick you off. 

What I did wasn’t the smartest but you can’t expect me to be the best person right now. I can’t explain everything that has happened to me recently, but it’s been pretty rough and the choices I have been making lately have not been the best. I wish there was a way for you to understand what I’m going through but it’s not possible.

You are still and always have been important to me, but I will not stop being friends with him because of the horrible choices he made when he was with you. Don’t get me wrong, you still get priority over him, but I cannot end a friendship over a personal choice he made with you.

Yes, of course his actions say a lot about him, but as the weeks have gone by, I’ve realized that people make mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable. It’s up to you whether they are excusable or not. Personally, I have been thru a lot to realize that it’s not worth holding onto things anymore. I hope that you’ll see the situation this way and realize that you’re a better person and realize you deserve better. You are better than this anger you are holding onto because of him.

You have made many decisions that I have not always liked (getting back together with him) but I was still there for you. I was still there during the fights, and the break ups. My only hope is that you’ll continue being there for me as well. Because if anything, a real friendship is what I need right now especially after everything that has recently happened. I was there for you BOTH during the fights and break up, and I still managed to be friends with both of you. I hope that even though you have broken up, I can continue being friends with you both.  

It’s very rare for us in our friendship to fight for over long periods of time, and I don’t want this to be a start. Anyway, I truly care for you and even if you continue staying mad at me, just know that I”ll be here.  Our friendship is worth more to me than you’ll ever know. I hope, if you allow it, we can eventually have children at the same time and my son can have a cousin named ling ling.

I love you and I hope you’ll understand me.  

Plus, you are worth a lot to me if I came back on tumblr just for ur stupid ass.